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| Mugabe is back |
By Mkikuyu Mjaka
CNN: News reaching our desk is that Kenyan Doctors have gone
on strike …..
WHATSAP GROUP
MUGABE : Which
doctors?
MUSEVENI: Yes, witch doctors, check spelling Mugabe
and remove question mark.
MAGUFULI : Strike ni nini ? Naskia tu madaktari wamestrike!
MUGABE : The
present tense of Stroke ,Magufuli. I hear Tanzania was colonized by Mombasa
hahaha!
MUSEVENI: S. Yes add S Mugabe.
MAGUFULI : Unamaanisha
nini ndugu yangu Museveni ?
MUSEVENI : Stroke ukiongeza S inakuwa Strokes ?
MUGABE : hahahahahah ! Hahahahha! Morgan Tvshangirai
must hear this (screenshot pap)
MAGUFULI: Is
typing
RAILA : Is
typing
UHURU : Nduguzanguni
Dadazanguni .Bwana Raila ngoja kwanza don’t type please. Kuna kitu nataka
kusema .Bado Dwaleh anaichora .Kidogo tu Bwana Raila. Am about to make a State
Of the Nation Adress.
RAILA : Is
typing
UHURU : Magufuli
pole sana ndugu yangu uliskia haya maneno vibaya .KBC ilitangaza vizuri kwamba
ni
Madaftari na si madaktari kinyume na
kilichotendeka.Sasa hivi kila kitu iko sawa .
MAGUFULI: Na Strokes
zimetoka wapi Bwana Uhuru ?
RAILA : Kichapo
cha Mbwa.
UHURU : Uliza
Fred Matiangi ana habari kamili kuhusiana na hilo jambo Bwana Magufuli. Ndugu
yangu Raila kichapo ni moja tu .Kichapo cha Debe.
MUGABE : Don’t
tell us about Matiangi who cannot differentiate between Fake Degrees and Degree of
Madness. If Kenyans can steal the sun when the rest of the world is asleep. Why can’t they steal exams?
MUSEVENI : And
erections.
RAILA : Not
erections Museveni, It’s elections.
MUSEVENI: Raira
what do you know about erections ?Sorry elections
RAILA : ‘Is
typing’
MAGUFULI :
Tafadhali tutumie maneno ya heshima ama niamrishe jeshi langu liporomoshe hili
whatsap group chini.
MUGABE : Who is Heshima Magufuli ? I am using my own
words .Let Heshima use his own
words far away from here. Bullshit ! Where is Uhuru?
UHURU : Yes Mugabe
my brother .I’m here.
MUGABE : Can’t
you have some manners son of Kenyatta. Respect your elders please. How dare you
call me your brother? How then will Mama Ngina address me? I should be your
grandfather young man.
MAGUFULI : Hahahahaha ! Mugabe .Hivi unajua ya kwamba Heshima ndiyo inamaanisha Respect kwa kizungu ? Limbukeni wewe .
MUGABE : Is
typing
RAILA : Migingo
is ours . Hiyo ndiyo kitu nitaanza nayo nikiingia state House 2017.
MUSEVENI : Raira
! Raira ! Raira ! Kila mara Raira huh !
MUGABE : Let him
speak Museveni. Raila go on. That is what it means to separate ‘Christ’ from Mass and adding Action
at the end .From Christmas to Mass Action Hahahahaha ! Christ-Mass-Action indeed.
MAGUFULI :
Namuunga mkono Bwana Raila .Ana uwezo mkubwa wa kubadilisha Kenya na kuiokoa
kutoka mikononi mwa Ruto. Huyo ndiye adui mkubwa wa serikali.
MUSEVENI : Uhuru
kuja inbox I show you how to deal with a Besigye.
BENSOUDA :
Museveni the ICC is watching you closely .Be careful what you say or do from
now onwards.
MUSEVENI :
Pensuda you should know that Yukanda is
no ronga part of the Rome Stachu.
MUGABE : It is
not Rome Stachu Museveni.It’s called Rome Statute
BENSOUDA : And
you Mugabe. You are next after Museveni.
MUGABE : You can
tell Ocampo am still camping here at the Zimbambwean State House .I’m still too
young to step down .Ask my wife .Or better still you can come and see for yourself
TRUMP: Bensouda please don’t waste your
time speaking to these two dick-tetas.I will deal with them myself.
MUGABE : I cannot
argue with someone who has invited a socialite to the White House to become the
First Lady.
MUSEVENI : It is
raik Magufuli making Wema Sepetu First Lady of Tanzania or Uhuru making Vera
Sidika First lady of Kenya .In Africa socialites are for sponsorship programs
onre.
TRUMP : For that
reason no foreign aid to Zimbabwe and
Uganda.Middle Finger to you two.Raila see me in my inbox .Let’s talk about how
to evict these Jubilee thieves out of State House.
RUTO : Hahahaha !
Hahahah ! .This is not America my friend.Hapa ni Uhuruto imeshikilia Bwana
Trump.Wewe kwanza hufai kuongea mahali wanaume wanaongea.Unaregarega hapa ati
ulishinda mwanamke.Huku Kenya ni mandume tupu.
TRUMP : Left
group.
RUTO : … (Data
bundles exhausted ,Hustler ast seen 2 minutes ago .Status reads , Mshamba
akienda jiji asahau shamba yake mashambani basi hiyo tittle ndo si hu-deed it
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